Anger management issues
by Sosolamby
Summary: One shot of how 16x08 (I think that's the episode) could have turned out if Nick had snapped at Amanda.


**_*** I wasn't sure If I was going to post this because I think it's out of character for the team but decided to post it anyway (mostly because I barely see any Rollins Fanfic these days). Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read it and I would love to know what you think.***_**

* * *

It had all happened so fast. The last thing Nick remembered was her pushing all his buttons. Now she was laying on the ground with what would be a black eye in the morning. He had lost his temper. The black haired man had never laid a hand on a woman before. It was something he thought he would never do. Seeing his father beating his mother, when he was a kid, had marked him.

But now, here he was having just hit Amanda after the Paula Martin's case. It had been rough on both detectives.

Amanda was already drunk when he had come in. He needed a drink after the day but wasn't sure if he could handle a drunk Amanda. They would always fight in the squad room, but now that there was liquor involved it was probably meant to end badly.

When Nick came back to his senses he crouched beside Amanda. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The room had fallen silent when Amanda had been hit but when the crowd heard her, they all went back to their business. They couldn't care less about them when there wasn't any action. "See, it's not always the man's fault. I provoked you, it was only normal for you to fight back."

She was really starting to get under his skin. All of this was only to prove her point. "Are you crazy! I could have seriously hurt you," he said reaching out to help her up and look at her bruised face. "I should have walked away, I had no right to hit you."

"Come on Nick, you know I won this fight," she said clearly drunk. Nick didn't say anything as they went back to their seats. The man had to get his stool upright since it had fallen down when he had snapped at Amanda.

Once they were both seated, Amanda ordered another drink. "Don't you think you've had enough?" Nick asked.

"It's none of your concerned," she spat back.

"I think the man is right, this time, young lady," the bartender said. "You two should go home. I don't want any trouble in my bar."

"Alright, let's go, Amanda," he said standing up.

"I'm not following you anywhere, Nick. I can take care of myself," she was a little mad at him for hitting her. She knew she had looked for it and she was mostly mad because there was no chance she could cover this up tomorrow at work.

Nick didn't want to leave her but he had no right to forced her into following him because she was drunk. Not after he had just hit her. "I'm sorry, Amanda." He said before walking out. Nick knew he would be in serious trouble the next morning but he would take whatever consequences that would come his way. He had to pay for what he had done. The fact that no one went to Amanda's aid when he had hit her surprised him. He had always thought that people would stand up when someone was in trouble but he was wrong. Maybe that if he had not stopped, someone would have made him. Nick didn't want to know, it wasn't going to happen again.

Amanda stayed there for a while, lost in her thoughts. The truth was that the blond was really ashamed of what she had done. She had no right to go after him like that. She had deserved to be hit. Amanda needed to get home before the bartender kicked her out. The thing was that she was drunk and her head was hurting a lot after the blow she took. Amanda got up and tried to steady herself. When that was done, she stumbled towards the exit. Amanda wasn't walking straight at all.

Once outside, she had to lean against the brick wall because the sidewalk started spinning. There was no way she would be able to get home on her own. Amanda took her phone out, still holding herself upright against the wall, and dialled the only number she could think of.

"Yeah? Amanda, are you alright?" the concerned voice of her partner came out of the phone.

"Um... Yeah, it's just that I'm drunk and I need a ride home," she said stumbling on her words.

"Where are you?" Fin quickly asked.

"Our usual bar."

"I'm on my way."

Amanda had only to wait a few minutes before Fin pulled up in front of her. He waited for her to get in the car. When he arrived he wanted to get out and help her but she seemed good enough to walk the few steps that were between them.

Once the blonde was in, she didn't even look at him. She knew he would go mad if he saw her bruised face. Luckily for her, Nick had hit her on her right side even though he was right-handed. When Fin didn't move the car she asked, "can we go?"

"What happened?" he was as stubborn as she could be.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Come on, Amanda, I'm worried about you." he said softly.

"I said let it go," she raised her voice. For a moment, she didn't think about her face and looked up to him when she had spoken.

"What the hell Amanda! Who did this to you?" He couldn't see clearly because of the dimmed light of the street but he could still recognise when someone had been hit. He grabbed her chin slightly to take a better look.

"It's nothing, Fin, just let it go," she said, shaking her head out of his hand.

He knew his partner well enough by now to know that trying to get things out of her when she was drunk would be a really bad idea. It wouldn't lead them anywhere, but he couldn't help but to worry about her. He hated to see her hurt. Fin decided that he would leave it at that for now but needed to know something first, "I just want to know one thing and I want an honest answer. Is it safe for you to go back to your place?"

"Of course, it is, Fin, I'm not in trouble. I promise," she said. The truth was that she was in trouble but not the kind that Fin thought. Amanda will have to face Olivia tomorrow morning to explain herself. The detective didn't want to be suspended, she hated free time.

"Alright then," he said leaving his parking and heading towards his partner's place. He would have to trust her, for now, but she would need to do some serious explanation later about this.

Once they arrived outside of her apartment building, she got out and to her disappointment, Fin did too. "You don't need to come upstairs you know."

"I know I just want to," he simply said and walked her up.

When Amanda opened her door, the older man looked quickly inside if anything was wrong but everything seemed alright.

"Thanks, Fin," the younger detective said.

"Yeah, always," he said. "Good night and put some ice on that eye of yours," he said pointing to her already forming black eye.

"Yeah, sure. Night."

Amanda got inside her apartment and Fin made his way down.

Once she had greeted her eager dog, she made her way to her kitchen to get some ice. The blond looked trough her freezer took an ice pack and slowly made headed inside her living room where Frannie had gone to lay back down. Amanda sat down on her couch and carefully put ice on her injured eye. She got her phone out and saw that Nick had texted her.

 _'I know it's none of my business but can you text me when you get home. I just want to know if you made it alright. Again, I'm sorry and I'll pay whatever consequences there is for what I have done.'_

Amanda replied instantly thinking that she at least owed him this.

 _'I'm home and it's not your faults, I shouldn't have pushed it this far. I'll see you tomorrow.'_

The young detective left it at that, not even waiting to get an answer, and went to bed with her ice.

* * *

The morning came fast and Amanda groaned when her alarm rang. She slowly got up and went to the bathroom. She peed and went to wash her hands. When she looked up she gasp, Amanda had a dark purple bruise around her eye. It looked very bad and the woman knew that there was no way she could cover this up and make it in time for work. She decided to not even try. Nick and Fin already knew anyway. She could try to hide it from her boss but had learned over the years that it never ended well when someone tried to hide something from Olivia.

Once she was ready to head to work, Amanda locked her apartment door and headed to the station with big sunglasses on even though it was sunny outside. The traffic wasn't too bad this morning so she arrived early to the station.

When she came in she noticed that Nick was already there looking like he hadn't slept at all. "Morning," Amanda told him.

"Morning," Nick said while standing up. He walked towards her and waited for her to take her glasses off. He wasn't dumb, he knew perfectly that she had this on because her eye looked really bad.

Understanding what Nick wanted, Amanda carefully took off her sunglasses. "Oh my god, Amanda, I'm so sorry," he said and reached out to get a better angle of her face but she moved away.

"I told you, it's fine," Amanda turned around and sat at her desk.

The man walked back to his own desk when he saw Fin coming in. The older man didn't even acknowledge Nick and spoke directly to his partner. "Bunk room, now."

Nick was a bit lost. Fin had just walked in and it looked like he already knew she was injured. He figured that the man had probably seen it from afar.

Amanda followed Fin with her head down. She knew that she would have to explain herself but she didn't want to knowing her partner would probably go after Nick. "Alright, I'm listening," the black man said.

"I told you it's nothing. It was an accident," she tried to brush it off.

He shook his head, "no, you're lying. I didn't push it last night because you were drunk but now you have to talk. You're not walking out before you tell me."

Amanda sighed before speaking, "I got into an argument with a guy and I pushed it too far. It wasn't his fault, he snapped but I gave him every reason to."

"Who is it?" Fin asked, anger evident in his voice.

Before Amanda could say anything, someone spoke behind them. "Who is who?"

Recognizing the voice of her boss Amanda didn't turn around. She knew she would have to face her but wasn't ready. The team stayed silent.

"I'd like an answer. Rollins, turn around please."

They still didn't say anything but the blond turned around slowly keeping her head down so Olivia wouldn't see her face.

"What's wrong?" the sergeant asked noticing the weird behaviour of her detectives.

"Amanda was hit last night," Fin simply stated still angry.

"By who?" the superior asked coming closer to her younger detective.

"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to find out."

Amanda stayed silent but flinched when she saw Olivia's hand coming closer. Her boss just wanted to have a look at her face since she kept it hidden by her hair.

When the sergeant got a proper look at her blond detective's face, she quickly understood why the girl's partner seemed so angry. The person that had hit her had hit her really hard. "Amanda, who did this," she asked again.

Amanda stayed silent.

"Alright, go in my office I'll be there soon." Amanda didn't wait another second before she walked out.

They both watched her leave before speaking. "What do you know?"

"Um, she called me last night. She wanted me to pick her up at the bar. When I arrived it was clear she had been hit. She didn't want to say anything so I brought her home. This morning she told me that she got into an argument with someone and that this person had snapped. Rollins also said that it was her fault."

Olivia scoffed at the last part, "we all know that's not true."

"Yeah," Fin simply said.

"Okay, thanks, I'll take it from here." Olivia left to rejoin the injured detective.

When she was to enter her office, Nick walked up to her. "Not now Nick," she quickly said and left him outside.

He wanted to tell her but couldn't bring himself to tell her.

On the other side of the door, Amanda was sitting on the chair in front of Olivia's desk. The older woman decided to go sit beside her detective instead of in front of her.

When she was seated she spoke, "Fin told me what you had told him so, who was it?" Her tone was calm and reassuring.

"It doesn't matter, it was my fault." Amanda quietly said keeping her head down.

"C'mon Amanda we all know that's not true. Whatever you did wasn't a reason for him to hit you."

"It was an accident, it won't happen again. I was drunk and I tested the guy's patience. I shouldn't have," Amanda said standing up.

"Rollins sit down we're not done here," Olivia ordered.

Amanda knew that being stubborn right now wouldn't lead her anywhere so she sat back down, away from her boss, on the couch. To her disappointment, the sergeant came to sit beside her.

"I can do this all day," Olivia stated. "So you can either tell me who hit you now or wait until you're tired of being here."

"You can't keep me in here..." Amanda wanted to say it as a fact but it ended more like a question.

"You're right, I can't but I will if I have to. I don't want to keep you in here, Amanda, but I'm worried about you. So can you please tell me who did this to you."

The concern Olivia showed made Amanda feel guilty. Her superior wasn't her enemy but the young woman was acting like it. "Nick," she softly spoke after a while.

"What Nick?" she couldn't believe that Amaro would do this.

"He hit me."

"What?" Olivia raised her voice. She headed for the door but Amanda stopped her.

"Wait! Let me explain," Amanda quickly added. "I was at the bar, already drunk, when Nick joined me. The Paula Martin case was pretty rough on both of us and we started arguing about how we should've handled the situation. Anyway we argued for a while and I started pushing him; I wanted to get to him."

"It still doesn't give him the right to hit him."

"I was coming after him, he tried to make me stop but I wouldn't. He didn't want to hit me."

"He should have just walked away," Olivia argued.

"What if the roles were reversed. That I had hit him because he was coming after me. Would you still blame me because he got hurt."

"No but..." she couldn't finish her sentence.

"There's no but's Liv. Nick was only defending himself."

"You sure you're not trying to protect him because if he threatened you..." Amanda stopped her there.

"Come on Liv, you know him. He's a good guy."

"Yeah but I didn't think he could hit a woman so I don't what to think anymore."

"Nothing changed about your perception of him. He is still the same man. If someone should be doubted it should be me. The way I acted towards him... It wasn't fair," Amanda added her eyes filled with shame.

"Alright, I'll talk to him to see what consequences I should put on both of you. Can you send him in on your way out and, please, tell Fin about this. He's worried sick about you."

"Please don't punish Nick for something I have done he doesn't deserve it."

"You know I can't let this go with nothing, Amanda. He did hit you."

"It was self-defense!"

"Rollins, watch your voice," Olivia reminded her. "Now, go tell Nick I need to talk to him and I let you know what I have decided later."

Amanda reluctantly walked out and headed the Amaro's desk. "She wants to talk to you. I'm sorry I tried to tell her it wasn't your fault but she wouldn't listen."

Nick sighed, "alright. It wasn't your fault Amanda. I talk to you later."

The man stood up and walked away with his head down.

When he was out of sight, Amanda looked around to see if her partner was somewhere to be seen. She didn't find him so she figured he was still in the bunk's room.

Once she walked in, she saw Fin sitting on one of the beds. He had his head between his hands and his elbows supported by his knees. "Hey," she quietly said when he didn't notice her.

His head raised to see who it was even though he had recognised the voice. "So you gonna tell me now?"

"Fin I can't. You're gonna go after the guy."

"Come on Amanda! I'm your partner!" he argued.

"I know Fin but I can't..."

"I promise I won't do anything."

"Alright, I guess I owe you that," Amanda gave in. "It was... It was Nick..."

"What?" Fin raised his voice heading for the door just like Olivia had done.

"Fin you promised," Amanda said defeated.

Hearing her small voice, the taller ma turned around. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"Listen, I was drunk and came after him. He tried to not hurt me but... I was pushing it too far and... It all happened so fast."

Amanda didn't want to put anyone against Nick. All of this was her fault and she needed to make everyone understand that. It was hard though since, in their line of work, women were often the victims. She couldn't let them put the blame on him.

"It's not your fault Amanda," Fin added after a while.

"It is Fin, I wanted him to hit me..."

"Why?" Fin answered surprised.

"Because... I was drunk and wanted to prove my point. I didn't think he would do it, though..."

"You can be stubborn, you know that," Fin said with a chuckle.

Amanda smiled at his partner. Her overprotective partner was becoming himself again. "Alright, we have work to do," Amanda closed the subject.

"Yeah... Hey, Amanda, I'll let this go this time but if anyone, and I mean _anyone_ , ever lays a hand on you again I promise I won't hold back."

"I know Fin, thanks," she said giving him a side hug while they walked out of the bunk's room.

When they arrived at their respective desk, their boss walked out of her office. Nick was still inside so Amanda guessed she would soon be back in that office.

"Rollins, my office please."

 _'Here we go'_ Amanda thought as she walked back into the room. She went to stand beside Nick and waited for Olivia to close the door and talk.

"So," the lieutenant started, "if I could, I would let this go because both of you seem to be shaken off enough by this already, but unfortunately I can't. That's why I'm suspending both of you for two days for misbehavior. You both can go home now."

"Wait..." Amanda and Nick said at the same time but they couldn't finish their sentences because Olivia cut them off.

"I don't want any argument about this. My decision is made, so now you both go home and I'll see you in two days."

With that, they both left to go home.


End file.
